i would punch a child for taco bell
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
