If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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