i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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