The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
