booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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