Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So vagazzling was a success
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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