girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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