I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
