He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
