we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wow bdsm is so cute
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
