I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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