im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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