He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
birth control should be required to get into college
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
