Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
