Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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