and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
