Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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