When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
