I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she pinky promised me she was 18
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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