That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
