All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
