why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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