Midget sex pt 2 tonight
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
