yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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