I need help removing her.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
