My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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