pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
