spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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