I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
