I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
