Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
