I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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