i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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