Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
