she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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