Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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