I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
