yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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