It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
