I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
