so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dear god my vagina.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
