there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize