real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
