she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
