I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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