covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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