we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
