Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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