glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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