Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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