This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
