Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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