Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
