I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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