my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to calm my uterus...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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