I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
