do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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